


How Peter Parker Quit The Avengers and Became a Villian

by crazy_purple



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Protective Peter Parker, This is me just trying to vent, Tony Stark Is Done, You may lose a few brain cells, have fun reading this, over his food that is, this fic is stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 04:36:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19310740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazy_purple/pseuds/crazy_purple
Summary: Peter Parker had been craving fries all day.So naturally he bought them.Then this kid, Abe, started eating them.Now Peter Parker is planning 37 ways to kill the fucker and get away with it.Fucking Abe.----------------This is just me venting about my day through Peter Parker.





	How Peter Parker Quit The Avengers and Became a Villian

**Author's Note:**

> This literally happened to me a few days ago and I just needed to take out my frustrations. This is a shitty fic, barely edited, you will lose some brain cells but have fun!

When Peter got the message that the Decathlon team was holding their last meeting at McDonald's before leaving for the summer after school, it had been the only thing Peter was looking forward to the whole day. All he could think about was the fries and his mouth wouldn’t stop watering. When they walked into McDonald's, Mr. Harrison offered to book their tables while they went to order. Most of the students went to the kiosk to order their meals while the rest, including Peter, went to stand in the line as they were boring and had only paper money. 

While waiting in line he contemplated on what drink to buy as he wasn’t really feeling like going for a soft drink. He ended up buying a medium chocolate shake and a medium fry as he wasn’t really hungry but nonetheless craving his fries.

Once he got his food, he returned to the table where the rest of his team were chatting away. He sat beside Abe and Ned, with MJ in front of them. 

“So what do you guys want to do this summer?” Ned asked, taking a bite out of his burger.

“I’ve got the Harry Potter series calling my name,” MJ replied.

“I’m probably gonna continue interning, otherwise I’m free,” Peter added, taking a sip of his shake.  _ Damn that’s a good shake! _

Ned hummed in thought before asking, “you guys wanna go watch the live-action Dora movie?”

“God that movie’s gonna be awful,” MJ snorted, “we’re gonna spend the whole time cringing, but I’m down.”

“Same,” Peter said while eating his fries, “though I agree with MJ, our childhoods are gonna be ruined.”

“Like they aren’t already,” MJ retorted.

“I agree,” Abe added, polishing off his Big-Mac, “but hopefully it’s not gonna be as bad as Frozen 2.”

The rest of them nodded except for Peter who scoffed out indignantly, “hey, I actually liked Frozen, thank you very much.”

Ned sighed, “when the Lego Movie and Frozen came out in the same year and we both went to watch it, which movie did you say completely dominated the other?”

“Alright, alright,” Peter huffed, “yea so the Lego Movie was better but that’s only because it had Chris Pratt in it! Can you imagine how great Frozen would have been if it had Chris Pratt in it?”

“Now that’s a thought,” Abe said taking a sip out of Peter’s drink- wait what?

Peter just stared while Abe just took a swig of his chocolate shake. 

“Yo, this is actually good!” Abe exclaimed, handing Peter back his drink as if Peter actually offered it to him in the first place. 

“Yea I know, that’s why I ordered it,” Peter laughed it off but inside he was planning out 37 different ways to murder the fool without anyone knowing. 

You see, Peter Parker actually has no problem with sharing his food or his drink. The only problem is that he’ll only do so with people who are close to him and Abe was not one of them (especially not now after what he just pulled back there). 

He’s also not a germaphobe or anything but Abe just put his mouth on his straw and god knows where that mouth has been- and ohmygod let’s stop that train of thought. 

“Peter, you okay?” Ned whispered, slightly nudging him with his elbow. 

He turned to look at Ned after realizing that he was glaring Abe who in turn was conversing with MJ. 

_ Look at him smiling as if he hadn’t just taken a big ol’ slurp from MY drink. What a little piece of sh- _

“Peter?”

“Hm? Oh yea, I’m fine,” Peter said trying his best to look nonchalant about the fact that Abe took a sip out of HIS drink and didn’t even care, he practically kissed him without his consent like what the hell-

“Oh Peter, we should all watch Frozen 2 and Dora and vote on which one’s worse,” Abe said and when Peter turned to face the monster himself, his heart stopped. There he was, Abe, the devil incarnate, munching on HIS fries. 

_ Fucking Abe.  _

Abe kept talking after that, but Peter wasn’t really paying attention and instead focusing on the way Abe kept reaching for his fries after every bite as if it were his. As if he paid the fucking $2 for them. 

Peter just kept nodding, a strained smile on his face as he watched the boy in front of him eating away the only thing Peter looked forward to this whole day. His will to live crumbling with every chew. 

Peter eyes snapped away from him to look at Mr. Harrison who stood up, letting everyone know that it’s time to leave and wishing everyone has a great summer. As if his summer hasn’t been ruined already.

_ Fucking Abe. _

Peter stood up as well grabbing the empty cup and the empty packet that once had warm fries in them to throw them out. Peter decided to go buy one more medium fry before heading out because there was no way he was leaving without his only happiness. He said goodbye to both Ned and MJ with promises of calling them before heading towards the line.

And that’s when Abe walked up to him. 

_ Fucking Abe. _

“Hey you’re buying another fry?” Abe looked at him incredulously, as if Abe didn’t eat a whole ass Big Mac meal, as well as half of Peter’s drink and all of his fries. 

“Yes,” Peter practically growled, not bothering to hide his annoyance anymore. 

This prompted Abe to put his hands up in a form of peace and laugh out “hey, hey, no worries. A boy’s gotta eat, right?”

Peter was seriously going to punch this kid, but it was too late as Abe waved him goodbye and walked out the door.

“A boy’s gotta eat,” Peter grumbled under his breath, “I’ll eat you.”

Peter didn’t even realize that he was next in line or that the woman at the cashier heard what he said and only looked at him in fear as he ordered his food. 

“One medium fry please,” he said and spotted Tony’s car driving into the parking lot.

“Uhm..sorry to tell you this but we ran out of fries just now, is it possible to wait 15 more minutes?” 

…

Peter knew he was staring and he knew he was scaring the girl but he couldn’t snap out of it. How the hell do you run out of fries? 

_ Fuckinnnnn Abeeeeeeeeéeeeeeeeee- _

A ping interrupted his murderous thoughts and he looked at his phone to see a message from Tony Stark. 

_ Tony Stank 5:40 pm _

 

_ Hey kid you almost done? _

 

Peter sighed heavily before typing that he’s coming. 

“Um sir?” 

Peter looked up, realizing that he didn’t give her a response yet, so he said “no it’s fine” and left. Without his fries. Because you know who ate them? You know who literally ate the only good thing going in Peter’s life?

_ Fucking Abe. _

So naturally, Peter wants revenge and now has decided that instead of continuing his life as a superhero, he’s gonna become a super villain. Hence, his super villain origin. 

“...And that’s why I quit the Avengers Mr. Stark.” Peter said, while Tony sat in his seat, bewildered at the fact that he sees this kid as his son. 

Tony sighed, taking his keys out of the ignition and climbing out of the car. He walked towards the elevator knowing Peter was following him just behind. Once they got into the elevator, he turned to his kid.

“So you want to quit the avengers because you want to become a super villain.”

The kid nodded. 

“And you want to become a super villain because some kid stole your fries.”

Another nod.

“Why don’t I just buy you fries and you can stop being so dramatic.”

Peter considered this for a moment, even going as far as to tapping his fingers on his chin.  _ What even is Tony’s life? _

“Sounds good,” Peter replied before stepping out of the elevator once it opened, “although I wonder where I got it from.”

Tony stared at his back while the boy walked away trying to figure out what he was talking about before it clicked.

“Oh you little shit. Come back here!” He yelled out and, like the mature adult he was, proceeded to chase the kid around the living room.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Also I'm sure Abe is a nice person and not all Abes are assholes but I just wanted to use someone that wasn't Flash for once. 
> 
> Also, it's summer! I'm free to post more so be on the lookout!


End file.
